The Oh Crap Moment
I thought when I started freelancing that the hardest part would be dealing rejection of my work as well as handling criticism of my work. But oddly enough that hasn’t been it.
The worst part for me has been what I call the “Oh Crap” Moments. Oh, and time zones – I totally stink at figuring out time zones and have messed up interviews more times that I’m going to admit in print because of my inability to accurately calculate the correct time for a meeting. Yes, I know it’s typically only plus or minus three, but I’m a writer that stinks at math. Now that I think about it, I could also have a problem with tangents, but you already knew that. But, I digress, so back to my original point about “Oh Crap” moments.
My First “Oh Crap” Moment
It happened when I had been freelancing for about three months. I got a gig writing a personal essay parenting column in our local newspaper. With no clips and no contacts in the industry, I was determined to make it as a freelancer. The last thing I wanted to do was go back to the corporate world as a technical writer, updating the same software manual for the rest of my life. So I had spent a few months writing essays for free on the corresponding website to prove myself, and then I finally got picked as a feature writer. I was thrilled. I thought it was a huge turning point in my career–spoiler alert–it was.
But after spending a few hours celebrating my new gig, I moved into a state of panic. Huge panic. I had spent all of this time trying to convince someone to give me a chance and that I was good enough. But now, the rubber hit the road and it was up to me to deliver. I was driving in my car when it hit me and I said to myself, “Oh crap, now I have to really do this.” Hence the reason I have since then referred to these terrifying events as “Oh Crap” moments. I’m sure the psychobabble term is something about self-doubt, but in the moment, it feels much bigger than that. And yes, most of the time, I actually say something stronger than the word crap, but this is a family friendly website, so you can use whatever variation of the term makes you happy.
I panicked. I cried. I decided I was a fraud (yes, feeling like a fraud is still a reoccurring theme for me even eight years later). I spent 456 million hours on my first essay (well, that might be a slight exaggeration, but not much). And I showed myself and my editor that I really could do it. I ended up writing that column for years and became relatively well-known in the community because of it. It led to a three-year gig writing over 300 news stories for the local section of the Raleigh News & Observer as well as two other columns in the newspaper. Most importantly, my paths crossed with an amazing editor who took the time to help me become a much better writer. I honestly don’t think that without Jason’s help that I would be where I am today. In many ways, I was right to freak out because what I did with the opportunity really did change the course of my career. If I had bombed, I almost definitely would not be writing this blog post but sitting in a cubicle farm somewhere wanting to poke my eyes out from boredom.
The Path to an “Oh Crap” Moment
Every now and then, you get a gig that you know is pivotal to your career. It’s almost always something that you’ve worked hard to attain and you know it’s a step up. It’s always outside of your comfort zone, in a good way. Maybe it’s a new niche. Or a big brand. Perhaps branching into something new, like social media or content strategy or even teaching. And then the moment comes when you have to put your money where your mouth is. yes, I know that I have used my yearly allotment of clichés on this post, but humor me, I’m in a corny mood. (Now that I think of it, I may also have a problem with cliches as well as those pesky time zones.)
I’d like to say the newspaper gig was the only time this happened to me. But I would be lying. Big time. It’s happened many times since. I most recently had a terrifying Oh Crap moment the days before speaking at Content Marketing World. I was a complete basket case for days. And I was right, it was a huge moment that has led to a number of opportunities since including being interviewed for an episode of the Content Pros podcast that was released today about working with freelancers and being picked a top 50 influencer at CMWorld which led to contributing to several round up posts about content marketing. But I had managed to convince myself that I was going to bomb. Huge shout out to my writer buddy Stephanie who sat in the front row and smiled and nodded the whole time, which helped me get through that particular “Oh Crap” moment.
My moments have taken many different forms over the years. Sometimes I’m just grouchy with my family, and other times I’ve been crying for days, or worse: becoming paralyzed with the new project. It feels awful. And scary. It can make you feel like you want to throw up. (Well, maybe the last one is just me.)
But this is the thing – it’s almost always a great thing when you have that horrible sense of panic that goes along with an Oh Crap Moment. It means you are the verge of moving up, of accomplishing something, and that you have finally gotten what you want. It means you are challenging yourself. And you have worked your tail off to get to that point. In fact, I personally believe that if you do not have an Oh Crap Moment at least a few times a year, then it means that you are playing it too safe and probably stuck in a rut. I really think it’s a good thing and we should all make a goal to put ourselves in this position at least a few times a year (and I know that I personally can’t handle the stress more often than that).
Moving past an Oh Crap Moment
I’ve learned the hard way that the best thing for me to do at first is not fight it. I let myself go through the emotions for a little bit. Otherwise, I’m not capable of moving forward. Then I find a quiet space and spend some time reading through my Positive Email folder (it’s a collection of nice emails from editors and readers over the past 9 years) telling me really awesome things about myself. If you don’t have one, start one today because I honestly think that being able to remember how many people have loved my past work and how many people I have helped is the reason that I haven’t quit freelancing on the tough days.
Sometimes this does the trick, sometimes I’m still in a tizzy. If so, then I start reading through my favorite stories that are most similar to my new project. I try to pretend that I didn’t write the story and read them from an outsider perspective. And I’m usually in awe that I actually wrote the story – and isn’t that one of the best feelings in the world? More often than not when I’m done, I have managed to convince myself that I don’t totally suck.
Then I get to work. I ALWAYS allow extra time to finish an Oh Crap project since I often need it. I let myself spend as much time as I need on the story. And I work as hard as I can. Sometimes, I’m still feeling unsure, but I do my best to plow through it and use the $%#W first draft strategy when necessary. I will even have someone else (or seven) read it before I turn it in if I’m still a nervous wreck.
And I head into the next state of panic – waiting to hear back from the editor on a project you really care about, but that’s another post.
When was your last “Oh Crap” moment? How do you get through them? And most importantly, how do you make sure that you putting yourself in the position to have more “Oh Crap” Moments in the future?
Great post, Jennifer, and so relatable!! I know I’ve certainly had my share of ‘What the hell was I thinking when I threw my hat in the ring for this?’ moments. But you’re right, if you’re not having moments of sheer panic now and then, you’re not pushing yourself enough.
I have two little quotes taped to my computer that I read every morning when I sit down to work. One says, “If it defines us, it defeats us.” The other, “What’s it going to be–reasons or results?” They help me get back in the ring when all I want to do is dive over the ropes to safety.
Thanks for sharing your ‘oh crap’ moments–it helps to know I’m not alone… 🙂
Love, love those quotes! And that’s awesome that I’m not alone in having these moments.
Today was the perfect time for this post because I’ve just had an “oh crap” moment and I haven’t even gotten the gig yet! It’s still in the talking phase. But I’ve been wondering if I should proceed as it’s way out of my comfort zone.
After reading your article, it’s onward and upward!
I’m so glad that it helped you! Yes, absolutely! Even if it doesn’t work out then you will know it’s not an area to explore in the future. You will just be back where you started. But I’m betting it’s a huge success since you are AWESOME.
Really good point, Mickey. Sometimes “Oh Crap” really means “this isn’t the right job for me and I should say no.”
That’s a very good point. I do think that there is a difference, though between the ones you should say no and the ones I’m talking about.
The Oh Crap moments where you are taking the right risk are not filled with dread or wondering if you should take it. In this post, I’m talking about the ones that come after you land a huge milestone that you’ve been working your butt off for years. If your gut is saying no, then you shouldn’t take it. That’s different than the self-doubt of working towards a goal and then having to put your money where your mouth is, does that make sense?
Being out of your comfort zone is good and I think that’s where the good things happen. But I think that taking a job that does not play to your strengths (which is very different IMHO than your comfort zone) is not a good thing and that’s where bad things happen.
Love this post, Jennifer! I have had so many Oh Crap moments in my 18 years of freelancing, although I usually call them something a little more colorful. In addition to content marketing I ghostwrite books, and immediately after getting the OK on a big book project I have a lovely, joyful, fist-pumping “Woohoo, I got the job!!!” feeling for about, oh, 90 seconds before the Oh Crap feeling takes over.
My best strategy for dealing with Oh Crap moments is to grab a notebook, drive to the Y or the high school, and walk on the track. There’s something about that rhythmic walking that calms me down and opens my mind. I bring the notebook because within about 5-10 minutes ideas start popping into my head about how I’m going to handle this or that, and I scribble them down so I don’t forget them. After a couple of miles I’m full of “Yeah, I can do this, uh huh, uh huh” confidence, and the Oh Crap feeling recedes. Walking the track is my secret weapon for challenges of all kinds–it always helps open up my mind and replace negative feelings with excitement and good ideas.
LOVE your notebook idea. I think I will do it but use the Voice Recorder on my phone since I can never seen to find a pen or pencil in my house. And I’m pretty sure I’m not talented enough to write and walk at the same time, LOL.
Love the name you’ve given these moments. I’m lucky that my husband also owns his own business, for much longer than I have. And he’s a great sounding board and support system. So when I have those moments, I start to spew out all my panic-filled babble to him, and he talks me off the ledge and reminds me of all the good work I’ve done, the experience I have for that particular gig and that no one has ever called me a fraud. Without him, I’d probably seek out a fellow writing friend to help me talk it through.
Melanie, Yeah, I like to name things because I’ve found it helps me give a name to the ups an downs of freelancing (I also get a condition known as Send Button Paralysis) because then it reminds me that I’ve been here before and survived.
That’s awesome about your husband being able to do that. I call one of two writer friends (shout out to Stephanie and Wendy who talk me off the ledge all the time). It’s so reassuring to me to see that I am not the only one who has these moments.
Thank you so much for this. Perfectly timed. Not having one of those right now, but in the stages of working toward one and even that is making me nervous and anxious. Glad to know I’m not alone.
That’s awesome you are working towards one! That’s awesome. I am in a rut and need to start working towards one. Keeping my fingers crossed that you get it.
Oh this is too perfect, Jennifer! I just experienced an “oh crap” moment today. I have been trying, and trying, and TRYING to find somebody to let me write a case study for them. I need samples! Well, today it finally happened. I spoke with a company that’s willing to take a chance on me. They already sent over some initial info to get me started. Yay! Yay! Ya—–OH CRAP! What was I thinking? What the heck is wrong with me? Why did I ever think I could write a case study?!!!!
Ahem. Anyhoo…
I have a Time Zone Tip for you. All I do is Google what time is it now in [CITY NAME]. Works great! No math required. :o)
Holly, that’s awesome!! I LOVE case studies. They are probably my favorite type of content. Email me if you want to have a quick call and I can share what I’ve learned the hard way from doing case studies. You can totally do these. Think of them as as cross between content marketing, journalism and real marketing. But the goal is to make it read like a story with a problem and any unique challenges (what the customer was experiencing before), the solution (what they bought from customer, anything interesting about the installation or solution) and then the business benefits in as quantifiable terms as possible that happened from the solution.
Jennifer, I really loved this post. It’s so easy to forget that we all go through this, regardless of where we are in our careers.
Thanks for the reminder, too, about stretching beyond the comfort zone. Just what I needed today!
I”m so glad you liked it! I feel the same way. Sometimes I write these type of posts just to see if I”m the only one and every single time I find out that I am far from the only one.
Sorry this comment is a little late, but here’s a link to something that has saved my butt many times, and avoided a few “Oh, crap!” moments — a time zone converter: http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter-classic.html