There are eight 11-year-old boys in my house as I am trying to write this. Only one of them is mine. They are currently involved in an elaborate game of hide and seek so every time I open a cabinet or closet, a tween boy jumps out and startles me. There is a pile of coats, boots, gloves and hats by my door. A trail of snow and ice marks their travels through my house. For the past few days, my ceiling has a constantly thumping noise that I am assuming from years of experience is the sound of either wrestling or a newly invented game of indoor football whose rules seem to involve just jumping on top your friends. All of the snacks that used to fill my pantry are now in their stomachs. And my recycle bin is full of lemonade cans. Yesterday, I started a lost and found bin by my front door to help the many orphan hats, gloves and even pairs of underwear return to their rightful owners.

Thanks to several rounds of snow and ice in Raleigh, my kids have been unexpectedly off school for seemingly 100 weeks in a row, although the calendar tells me that it’s only been two weeks. Since I have always welcomed my kids friends here (and have worked hard to be the house where the kids hang out) my house was full of action over the snow days. And while one of the reasons that I freelance is so that I can have flexibility to be the mom that I want to be, I have realized that in situations like this that it is both a blessing and a curse. I have worked twice as many hours in the past two weeks (pretty much 7 days a week) and gotten half as much done.

While I have been doing the mom and writer juggle for the past 8 years, I usually know when they are going to be off such as school breaks and don’t take extra assignments during that period as well as working ahead to meet deadlines. And usually the unexpected events, like illness, only last a day or two. Plus sick kids are happy to lay on the couch and watch a movie. But two weeks is a long time and the kids wanted to be entertained. I learned the hard way cabin fever doesn’t bring out the best in people, especially my kids, so there were many days I wanted to put on a referee shirt and blow the whistle during their bickering.

Since unexpected stuff like this happens to all of us, whether it’s snow days, caring for a sick parent or a natural disaster, I thought I would share some of the things I learned this past few weeks:

1. Late nights and early mornings are my friend. The only way that I made my deadlines these past two weeks was waking up at 6 am most days to polish my writing from the night before and working late to write drafts. I am a morning person so I would do the work where I need to focus before the kids rolled out of bed, but night owls would probably do it the opposite way. I use this strategy during school breaks as well.

2. Be honest with clients and sources. While I tried to get the kids out of the house a few calls where I needed the utmost professional atmosphere, that wasn’t feasible for all phone calls. I started these calls by apologizing in advance if they heard kid noises and explaining that our kids had been off school for 2 weeks. EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON sympathized and was supportive because almost everyone has had to juggle these same demands. It’s even better if you can make your advance apology somewhat humorous to break the ice.

3. Rearrange your schedule and deadlines if possible. After a few days, I looked at my calendar and found a few projects that I knew had flexibility. I emailed both of the editors well ahead of the deadline, explained the situation and asked if there was any flexibility because I wanted to make sure that I provided the highest quality deliverable. I ended the email by saying that if she needed it by the original date that I would make it happen. Both emailed me back almost immediately and said no problem. This is a tactic that you shouldn’t do lightly and only with the right clients. The key is that it’s an established client as well as ASKING if there is flexibility instead of saying you can’t make the deadline WELL in advance of the due date. It’s essential to note that you will make the deadline if there isn’t flexibility.

4. Invite more kids over. While this seems counterintuitive, it actually works. My kids are happier with their friends over and I can get more work done. But I have learned the hard way that it has to be the right group of friends or you will find yourself looking for that referee shirt again. Sleepovers worked really well as well because the next day the kids were so tired they were happy to watch a movie and even nap. Yes, I bravely hosted three sleepovers in the past two weeks of eight 11-year old boys. And only person threw up, so I consider that a success.

5. Switch off with another family. My son and his friends moved from house to house, which gave me and the other work from home mom a chance to get work done. This worked fantastic because we all got time with a quiet house to take calls or work in exchange for being the host house for the day. Although, I have to say that my house was the house of choice most days unless I actively found another location for them, which I started doing as the days turned to weeks. Apparently not all of the other moms are as tolerant of the ceiling thumping and closet hiding as I am.

6. Take time to focus on your real life. Most of us freelance so that we have flexibility for the things that are really important to us, including family or travel. While it is important to do your best work and honor your deadlines, the times you will remember most are when you shut off work and really engage with the people you love.

My son and his friends showed up at my house on Thursday after shoveling snow for 6 hours to earn money. They were exhausted, starving and very excited because they thought they were rich with $40 each in their pocket. As I saw them walking down my street, I was trying frantically to get a draft of a white paper done. But instead of sending them away or herding them upstairs, I shut the computer and greeted them at the door. I spent the next two hours making endless amounts of grilled cheese, pizza bagels, hot chocolate and pancakes while listening to the stories of their first business venture. They even offered to buy me dinner at the gas station (which is still their idea of a big treat) if I would give them a ride so they could buy candy with their loot.

I still made my white paper deadline. And honestly, I will always remember that afternoon sipping hot chocolate and watching their red faces tell me about their day.

How do you balance work and family, especially unexpected issues like never ending snow days?

 

 

.